Part of me is reluctant to document this episode...mainly because I'm embarrassed that my child actually did this. But the other part of me is thinking...there have GOT to be other kids in the world that do stuff like this.

I was making dinner. Abby was talking on the phone to Grandaddy. All of the sudden, Abby comes in the kitchen - still holding the phone in her hand. She's slightly on the verge of losing it (Dad...you can testify to this, right?). I put my kitchen utensil down and sit on the kitchen chair to see what's wrong. She's got this crazy look in her eye. It was makin' me nervous.

"What is the matter, sweet, loving, daughter?" (Ok, I added that last part in because I want you to believe that I'm a sweet, loving, mother).

"Something happened in my nose!!"

"What?"

"Ummm....something is in my nose!!"

"What?"

"I was holding this thing and now it's in my nose!!"

I love how she didn't come right out and say, "I stuck something in my nose". It was as if she was holding something, and some random nostril vortex sucked it in.

So...I recalled the page in the Mother's Handbook that talks about foreign objects in the nose. I placed my pointer finger on opposite nostril and instructed the child to blow.

From her opposite nostril jettisoned a small, orange, foamie square - a remnant from a fun mosaic project that Grandma sent her. It hit me in the chest (fortunately, I did not sustain any injuries - although there may be some damage that has not shown up yet) and then bounced onto the table.

I then calmly told Grandaddy that we would call him back, because I was about to have a "talk" with the child.

Mike came in right as I was asking, "Why did you think it was a good idea to stick this up your nose?". The look on Mike's face cannot be documented at this time.

While I calmly, and lovingly continued to explain the problem with inserting things into your nostril, a little blood started to pool around her precious little nose hole.

Knowing how my daughter would react to this new development, I asked Mike to quickly retrieve a Kleenex. I dabbed the blood and did a magic trick to hide the evidence.

Abby was very upset and kept asking me, "Did I damage my body??"

I reassured her that her body was not damaged and that there was something really, really cool that happened as a result of what she did. "Huh?" A glimmer of hope sparkled in her eye. I explained to her that she learned a valuable lesson and it didn't cost her but a few tears (and some blood that she doesn't know about).

"So, from now on, the only thing that goes in your nose is your finger...and, even that should be done sparingly!!"

Pick a winner,
k

PS - please...please...please...somebody tell me that their kid has stuck stuff up their nose. I need some love here.